Mike Frazier's parents, fiancée, daughter and nephew were killed in '95 when floodwaters knocked their car off a bridge.

Rebuilding his life, giving thanks Man emerges from grief over losing family to ease pain of others
- By Selwyn Crawford, Staff Writer
- Photo by Tom Fox, Staff Photographer

In one dark moment, Mike Frazier's life was forever changed. To this day, he can't exorcise the haunting memories. Rushing water. The screams. The feeling of helplessness. Then there was the numbing realization: He would never again see his mom, his dad, his fiancée, their 2-year-old daughter, his 11-year-old nephew. It took time, but seven years later, Mr. Frazier doesn't cry when he describes his life's most devastating moment. That's how his friends know he's on his way to healing. "We've seen the testimony of people about what God has done in their lives, and they'll cry," said the Rev. Robert Nichols Jr., pastor of River of Life Church in Mesquite and one of Mr. Frazier's closest friends. "But when he shares his testimony, he doesn't cry. That's true deliverance. You know you're over something when you can get past the emotionalism of a situation." Mr. Frazier's "situation" happened May 5, 1995, when raging floodwaters from Five Mile Creek knocked the family car off the Beckley Avenue bridge as they were headed to dinner. Mr. Frazier, who was riding in the back seat, was the lone survivor. Within a year, his older brother went to prison and his grandfather died. In June 1999, his grandmother passed away. Mr. Frazier's relationship with the rest of his family, which he said had never been warm, turned icy. He wondered how he could go on or should even bother. "What do you do if you go home and everything you had is gone?" he said. " My mom and dad were my life. How do I deal with the fact that I'll never see them again? "How do I deal with the fact that the most precious thing in my life, my daughter, won't grow up to be a young lady? "It hurt. It still hurts." The 32-year-old professional musician said he battled depression, loneliness and anger. Suicidal thoughts were a constant companion. He couldn't bring himself to take his own life, though He would drive around tough neighborhoods at all hours hoping to get carjacked and killed, Mr. Frazier said. One day, he thought he might succeed. " I ran out of gas on this street and while I was sitting there, some guys that I know were gang members drove up," Mr. Frazier said. "They asked me what was wrong and I told them I was out of gas. So they drove off and I thought, 'When they come back, they're going to kill me and take my car.' " They came back - with gasoline. They refused to accept money even though Mr. Frazier flashed a roll of cash in front of them in what he said was a painfully futile attempt to get them to harm him. "I was like. 'Man, I can't even get myself killed,' " he said. "And that made me even more depressed."

Mr. Frazier said he remained in a funk for about two years until he heard a sermon at his church. "One day, I was at the Potter's House and Bishop [T.D.] Jakes preached a sermon, 'Forever A Victim - I Don't Think So,' " said Mr. Frazier, who once played guitar at the southwest Dallas megachurch. "And he called me out and ministered to me. He told me that music was the bait that lured me into the church, but that wasn't my sole purpose." From that day on, Mr. Frazier said, he began to realize he had been left on Earth to help others overcome tragedies and set backs. And, he said, he realized he had a lot for which to be grateful. " I've got everything to be thankful about," he said. "I thank God for sparing my life. It allowed me to realize that it's not about me, it's about God. Everything I have is because of him." Although he's working as a musician with touring stage play, Mr. Frazier said he believes his ultimate mission is to help others who are hurting. He has recorded a book and recorded a CD to help get his message across.

Through the years, Mr. Frazier has leaned on a longtime neighbor for support. Albert Stinson has lived across the street from the Frazier family for more than 25 years. Mr. Frazier said that since he lost his father Mr. Stinson has filled the void. It's a role he's more than happy to play, Mr. Stinson said. "I call him my son," he said. "in fact, he is closer to me than my own son. He's been through a lot, and I've been through a lot, and we've been through a lot together. That's why I am so thrilled that he's trying to keep his life together." Mr. Frazier, who still lives in his parents' house because "it's the only home I've ever known," said God has given him the strength that he didn't know he had. "We all have storms in our lives, "Mr. Frazier said. " Your storm could be that you're homeless. Or it could be losing your [spouse] to a divorce. My storm was losing my family. "It's been a long road, and I'm still fighting."